Am I being selfish?

   One of the odd things about selfishness is that even though you’re making yourself primary, most of the time we don’t realize we are doing it. In our culture it has become so habitual to say the me, I and my words that we can’t even tell how much of our conversation contains ourselves. In the book How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie, I believe he mentioned how people love talking about themselves and therefore a good listener is often liked. (Don’t quote me on that though, it’s been years since I didn’t finish that book) I have often wondered when I have to “endure” listening to someone talk, if I am being selfless by listening, or selfish by wishing I could speak my thoughts. Me, my, myself. Is the desire for someone to stifle their rambling a selfish one? Or is this a reasonable desire for our own involvement? Honestly, sometimes I really wish I could unload a little. I do sometimes. Actually probably more than I should at times. I just happen to be so picky with my listeners and I simply detest “small talk”. Gosh I hate small talk. Well, only if it goes nowhere. Small talk that fill the task of “catching you up” with events of the day or meals. Most anything can break from pointless small talk but only (I believe) if the speaker is asking for involvement.
    Ok. I might have something with that. What do I mean by “asking for involvement”? Let me venture a little. If someone speaks and no feedback is given, this could be small talk. If someone speaks tailoring their speech for feedback. This could also be small talk but there is an opportunity for more. Now, if someone speaks not either caring for or expecting feedback, this is small talk. So here’s my idea. I might be getting annoyed at the seemingly selfish speech coming from my friend because it does not seem to involve myself by needing or inviting feedback. The words that convey an event are simply told and not discussed. …. hmmm. Ponder this, I will. I need to call my gf.

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