Looks like my summer is coming to an end. I have around a dozen days left before I depart for my semester at NMU. Although I look forward to the upcoming adventure, I can’t help but continue to question my decision to go up there. I’m not quite sure why I feel rather uneasy about the whole thing. Perhaps I wonder if it’s possible for me to build my own social group from scratch, maybe I’m worried about getting a job up there or maybe I’m just feeling the pull to stay in my home town.
Funny thing about this summer. My first evaluation of it would be something of a bore. This is due to the somewhat nonstop work I have had. I blame no one for this. I needed funds more than I needed fun this summer. It’s just that I didn’t find time to do the many things I had planned to do. I had made a short list of things I wanted to do after I finishing my winter semester at the local community college. My list included canoeing, bike riding, playing some of my favorite video games and catching up on a lot of reading. Sadly my list has remained somewhat untouched since it’s composition. Away from work, I feel as if I have done almost nothing this summer.
However, at the same time it has been the most extraordinary summer I have ever had. Early this year I met a girl. A kind, interesting, beautiful, sweet girl. Fate put us in a class together and with little credit to myself, our friendship grew closer and closer onto the point at which it blossomed into a very meaningful relationship. I have learned a lot through my dear girlfriend. She has shown me not only what it is like to care deeply for another, but also what it is like to be deeply cared for. At first, I admit I was very cautious. I did not give her my heart as a whole on the first day I spotted her. Nor even the day I first heard her speak to me. No, I feel as though I through gentle encouragement and quiet patients, I have been slowly giving her pieces of my heart. Through deep conversation and quiet gestures, she has slowly built up a collection of who I am and what I hold most dear. I have never known what it is like to love, but I do believe that if something were to happen, I would not be the same person of who’s heart she now possesses.
I would also like to say a brief thing about meeting her family. They have been most kind and understanding to me. I am happy to say that they were skeptical of me at first. Saying little to me, I often felt as though I was under a close and scrupulous examination. It was a little discomforting but I honestly preferred it this way. It shows a tightly wound family who truly care about each other. (Especially how much her parents care about her) I would find it rather unnerving if a family were to welcome me into their lives with no more than a quick assessment. However, pleasing this family was not as hard as one might think. (at least it wasn’t for me) I for one really came to liking the family. I believe I might be stretching the word “liking” a little there. I really really like them. I hope I have made a good impression on them. I know I have annoyed them with my late nights out with my girlfriend. I really hope things work out. It’s a shame they’re moving so far away. Maybe I’ll write about that in another post later.
Basically, in a manner of speaking, I have experienced less and more this summer than I ever have before. I know more I see more, I feel more and I worry more. This has been the most extraordinary summer in all my life. In a funny sort of way. Although, I wouldn’t have asked for it any other way.